“The sex drive of men is something we are all comfortable with in this country. It’s funny and hormonal and slapstick (American Pie), it’s potentially uncontrollable, maniacal/homicidal (American Psycho), it is adulterous and is insatiable (American Beauty), it is fun and social (American Graffiti) and it is entrepreneurial (American Gigolo). But women? No. NC-17. XXXX. Stop it with the moaning.”
“The best part about Twix is that there’s two of them. I’m not even positive if I like Twix on an elemental level, I just really like there being two of them. It’s like how a girlfriend has an entire hand, and a boyfriend just has one fat finger.”